oh dear

holy crap......what is happening. yesterday we talk and he promises to be normal and take me where i'm at. and then tonight he's saying i'm his girlfriend. do i really want this? am i faking to keep him happy? should i stop being nice?


shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a boy

he likes me. i like him. do we date? we have a whole summer in between now and next school year. he obviously seems to anticipate a deeper continuation of what we have now, then. but do i? he want's to go deeper, i want to figure out the top part first, the insides might cloud my vision.

i haven't prayed. God knows and i don't. why am i an idiot. why can't i be honest with the world?

shit. i'm so human and so fallen. God's grace is sufficient, but right now i can't seem to make myself care.

tee hee

a skinny boy named ben likes me. he's taking me rollar skating sometime.


weeeee!!!!

when spring comes

it makes everyone happy. it makes me think of europe, england, oxford, jerico, walton well road, and 21. those are the best places i know.

i think a certain boy is extreamly attractive....it's that long-ish hair that will do it every time. and the blue eyes and the skinnyness.

i want to be in the heads and books of russian authors. they saw life and philosphied about life in a real manner, with real people, doing and thinking real things. i want to be all of alive.

Hebrews is my favorite book in all the Bible.