dampness

i still have questions. but that's okay, right?

i still want love, i'll find it, right?

he still makes me smile more than other boys, but i know it will never be. it could never be.

i want to say fuck.

i want to be in oxford, i want to drink with kyle, i want to smoke, i want to hug ben.

i want to know if ben has/does ever liked me.

would that be wierd if he says yes?

i want to marry my best friend. i want him to wear a kilt.

i want God, but i know when i ask that i'm asking for all of his control of my life. i'm selfish so that scares me. but it's the best and most beautiful thing i could ask for, surrender.

will you catch me, will hold you me even when i let go?